Santiago, are you hiding in my bathroom with a dog that you’re deathly allergic to?
im making friends with the netflix customer service guy
how sweet of you
I’M TALKING TO A DIFFERENT ONE AND TROY ASKED ABOTU ME
Remember how everyone’s favorite part of Heath Ledger’s performance in Brokeback Mountain was his almost painful physical repression, his reluctance to express any emotion that wasn’t punching or SHUTTING DOWN? His voice was closed in on itself in a raspy burr — he fell to the ground rather than shed tears — his face was hooded and dark and full of twitching cheek muscles. Kristen Stewart is Heath Ledger, I assure you. She has the same handsome face, the same winsome, masculine smile, the same reluctance to make direct eye contact.
For years, everyone in the world has misunderstood Kristen Stewart’s compressed emotional range. They thought it meant she was a limited actress; it means nothing of the kind. She is John Wayne being forced to play the Maureen O’Hara character. Give her a rail to lean against during a sunset, a military jacket, a toothpick to chew on, and something to squint her eyes against lazily in the distance, and her guardedness will be transformed from unsuccessful femininity to The Great American Male.
Kristen Stewart is a goddamn cowboy.
steve rogers + cards against humanity (insp.)
i was tagged by applebright to do the handwriting meme and the six random facts meme, so i hand wrote my favorite monologue from a cinderella story and called it a day.
Our resident geniuses need more love <3
all i want is for them to be okay and alive and laughing carefree like the children that they are is that too much to ask?
DAMN YOU BATTY STOP MAKING ME SHIP THINGS ALSO I FINISHED THIS A LONG TIME AGO WHY IS IT TAKING ME THIS LONG TO POST SOMETHING
+i’m double jointed in my neck. science does not yet know why.
+i was a competitive swimmer for 10ish years and a rower as a teen so my tan lines were always vivid and strange
+the only phrase i know in italian is ‘i would like to buy a cake, please’
+i once passed out in a bookstore and the cute employee i had been talking to before i passed out had to carry me to the curb and hold a garbage can in front of my face. to this day, we are not married.
+i failed astronomy 100 in my first semester of university because i sat in the back of the lecture and binge watched 5 seasons of alias then accidentally got on the wrong bus and missed the final exam
+i’m jokingly but not jokingly paranoid about being caught unprepared in a natural disaster so my backpack is filled with first aid kits and emergency supplies to last several days even if i’m just going to the grocery store (this is Healthy and Completely Fine) (i have butterfly bandages and gauze!!! be my friend)
"before I know it, I’m gonna wake up and be 23 and my life’s gonna be behind me."
"you know that I’m 25, right?"