today i was standing in line for coffee and the lady behind me i guess looked at the book i was holding (chris hardwick’s ‘the nerdist way’) and she goes ‘the best thing, if you want to marry a nerd, is that you’ll always know where he is at the end of the day’

and i said ‘yeah…?’ in what i assumed was an encouraging way

and she just turned her head away and didn’t finish the joke or advice or whatever was happening

8 HOURS LATER AND MY BODY IS STILL FILLED WITH THE UNEASY TENSION OF NOT KNOWING WHAT THE END OF THAT THOUGHT IS SUPPOSED TO BE

WHAT’S THE SOCIAL PROTOCOL FOR ADDING SOMEONE YOU HAD A CLASS WITH ON FACEBOOK IF YOU ONLY

• SAT NEXT TO THEM MOST DAYS
• MADE VERY SMALL AMOUNTS OF SMALL TALK BEFORE AND AFTER CLASS
• ARE TIPSY RIGHT NOW AND THINK THEY’RE CUTE AND THE SEMESTER IS OVER SO YOU MAY NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN BUT ALSO YOU HAVE INTIMACY ISSUES SO YOU DON’T WANT TO SEEM HUNGRY FOR THE D